The Cringe Children

And so enters the new breed. The cringe child is lost in the midst of new faces, new routines, new surroundings. Seen only, passing in corridors and giving quick hugs as she spots you. I was concerned for her to begin with.

Concerned that she may be lonely – that these new girls coming in would not accept her, make her more aware of her isolation. Concerned that they may bully her or make her feel excluded. In my followings of the Cringe Child, I’ve often noted how her ignorance, perhaps her naivety has been her saving grace. Saved her from realising that she wasn’t the most popular or was lacking in friends. I was concerned as I didn’t know the new kids coming in and how they would react to her.

I guess  I’ve always thought that the Cringe Child was one child, and one child alone. But I was wrong. I think in every class, school, community you have at least one Cringe Child. Because although I was worried for her, I needn’t be. Perhaps these new faces were a blessing in disguise for her, because in amongst them all she met another Cringe Child, her first proper friend.

So when everyone was anxious about this school year, the petty problems and complaints from parents, seem all worth it when you see the Cringe Child smiling.

Worth it at least, to me.

In moments of guilt - i wondered, why do we do it? Why do we put ourselves through the emotion which have often been described as 'wearing the rope thin'? Why wear ourselves thin?

And what is guilt anyway? A wasted emotion which comes as an after effect of pleasure? Guilt 1. The criminality and consequent exposure to punishment resulting from willful disobedience of law, or from morally wrong action; the state of one who has broken a moral or political law; crime; criminality; offense against right. "Satan had not answer, but stood struck With guilt of his own sin." Milton.

One thing that is clear to me is yes - guilt is an important emotion and is a catalyst in enhancing the moralities of an act. But what about when this 'act' isn't wrong, its the people you let down in the process.

I think the cringe child is starting to notice. Found her in a tizz today because she didn’t want to be on the end of the line. Sitting in the very front of the class on her own. What can you do? Maybe it was better for her to be ignorant. To not know the truth and reality of her situation.

Then there is Miss Haughty. She is really annoying me. The child who thinks she knows what is best, even more than I do and is so insolent it drives me barmy. Has a really superior look on her face right now and it’s really irritating me. She’s becoming a teenager already and I hate her for it. I bypassed the whole teenager affair. I don’t think I was much trouble at all. Did what I was told, never argued back – basically your average goody-good.

I wish the Cringe Childs sister would leave too. It’s because of kids like these that rich kids really deserve the reputation they get. These kids are really brats sometimes. You’ve got a 9 year old ordering around her mother and screaming at her as if she was her slave. Actually take that back. Because the mother IS her slave. There is just so much filial ingratitude here. ‘I want this, I want that’. No darling what you really need is a slap. ‘Get me this NOW’. Then sulking when they don’t get what they want – until of course the parent caves and gets it for them anyway. Which makes me think: is this the way the next generation is progressing? If so, Has the parent finally lost control all together? Perhaps these new aged parents who don’t believe in smacking are getting a taste of their own medicine.

I’m sorry. I’m not usually like this. Normally I get on fine with them. I just get so irritated. You do something nice for them – say take them out for the afternoon and plan something nice and you’re no sooner back and they want to know what’s next. It’s the constant need, the constant demanding all the time that makes me grateful I’m not their mum. It’s not even as if they’re even grateful at the end of the day, which makes you question the whole origin of why you even bothered.

But I should bother. It’s my job and I do like these kids, really I do. I suppose living and working with them really wears you down. At least it’s nearly holidays and I won’t see them for 3 months. Come back refreshed and non-irritated, perhaps. I just can’t get over its June already! Halfway through my time here and where has the time gone?

So in amidst of all this chaos, annoyance and distress, there is the cringe child. Who gives me a picture she drew just as I’m on the brink of tearing my hair out. And suddenly it’s ok. ‘So shines a good deed in a weary world’. You realise that although you can’t always handle the pressure of them, one of them is able to do something to change it all around. And even thought she isn’t all together, the cringe child is the sweetest one of them all.

                                    The Cringe Child 

There are some kids in this world you just cringe for. Kids who are socially and physically cringe able. I know this kid who is your typical 'cringe child' and who basically doesn't have a clue. The kind of child who thinks she's all that, everyone’s favourite when really, in reality she's not.

Watching 'About a Boy' made me feel I somehow knew the boy Marcus already. Marcus (see image) is the kind of kid who just doesn't get it. Dressed up as some local from Peru just makes him an easy target at his school. And his mother a flaky, eccentric new-aged hippy adds to Marcus' weirdness. You can't help but feel for the kid and wish that Will (Hugh Grant) would take him for a bleeding haircut. But that's not my point.

Marcus wasn't just a film character - he represented a real cause. A child who just does everything in such a way that it makes him an easy target of ridicule and the worst part is you have to sit and watch it – not being able to do anything about it.  You just can’t help but want to grab the kid, tell him that it ain’t cool and set him right again.

This kid I know was just that. Cringe able. But it’s not as if I could even help her. It’s natural cringness. The kid wears her skirt round her waist for god sakes. Doesn’t get the message when another kid doesn’t want to hangout with her. And yes it makes your heart wretch. But it also makes me wonder if we  are all cringe children at least once in our lives. And when we look back at past photos etc  and think ‘what was I thinking’, was there someone else there who was also thinking the same about us? Was there a Katie looking at an 11year old child, feeling the embarrassment for her that she would only experience in retrospect?